A Light in the Darkness

He said to me, "As I am like the Father, so too are you". 

I stood there in the wilderness at night, the fires of camp still seen in the distance, and found myself wordless. The impact of his statement, launched like a thousand arrows, tore away all my solid grips on reality. 

"But that can't be", I uttered, "I am but simple man and a sinner". 

He looked at me for a time, and every part of me wanted to look away. But there in in his eyes, I saw the fires of divinity raging; and somehow I knew he was looking at the same thing in mine. My guts twisted like some invisible hand was ripping them downward. I cried out. 

"NO! This can not be" 

"But it is" he said calmly. 

I looked at him again, perhaps to rebuke him, perhaps to strike him. And again I saw heaven's fire burning there, yet this time it was not behind his eyes, or mine. There was only one fire and we, like smaller flames, arose and fell from within it over and over. There was no He, there was no I. The cold ground of night hurt as my knees hit it and I discovered I had collapsed, crying. 

"And now you know the burden of the truth", he said, "and the wonder of it all". He turned and walked casually back to camp humming a children's lullaby. 

Years later, I still wrestle with that evening in my mind. Still I can not seem to accept his words as I cling to the tattered rags that are my own beggar's raiment. Still I fear to let go of the those simple fictions I have wove for myself; still terrified to accept what will surely destroy the world before me and remake it in the light of heaven. 

Such is the predicament of humanity.