Thought Creatures

Earlier this week, I found myself having an argument in the middle of traffic.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I said to her.

"Fine.  We'll never get one."

I pulled the truck into a Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru.  Maybe some coffee would calm me down.

"Don't be like that" I began, "just because I'm upset doesn't mean I am not willing to work something out".

"What the hell's the use!  Every time I want something, you get all upset"

I paused, trying to put on my best sincere face, "hey, I love you, I would do anything for you; I just don't see how we can pay for it all".

I paid for the coffee, trying my best not to let the cashier notice my agitation.

"This is so typical"

I gave up.  My jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.  I hate fighting

Now, this probably isn't all that different than arguments couples have about money.  I imagine Johhny cave-man and Susie cave-girl probably argued about how many furs needed to be put on the walls.   What made this argument stand out, was that I was alone in the car!   

Yup, sitting all by myself in traffic, there I was raging, despairing, pleading with my loved one (who was actually at work blissfully unaware that we were arguing).   

Having realized that I just had an emotional cluster fuck that was completely in my head, I felt a bit silly.   All these years grown, and still I am getting caught up in make-believe.   But it wasn't a completely fruitless argument--again, the nature of the mind stood before me.

As I had sat there arguing,  I wasn't arguing with what I thought my loved one might say.  There was no pause where I tried to figure what she would say, there was no computation.  The responses the imaginary-she gave were instant, emotional, vivid.  I was arguing with her.  In some strange way, my mind had broken off part of its consciousness and let it become her. It poured itself into her pattern.  

I pulled the truck up to the house, struck with how powerfully she lived in my mind.   And then I thought about all those different creatures that live there too.  Loved ones, co-workers, my kooky neighbor, those thuggish looking kids up the straight, the sweet old lady downstairs.

All of these thought-creatures--given life through my consciousness.   How strange?

Now all of this would be interesting, but rather pointless if not for a phone call from my significant other later that day.   She said, "I know you are worried about the money, I'm sorry; I shouldn't have been so stubborn".  

How did she know?   Maybe she was simply aware of my subtle reactions from the night before, and it was rattling around her mind too.  Yea, there is that old-saw.   But it really doesn't make sense--it doesn't account for the consistency--the timing.  

Thought creatures are strange.  What creatures live in your mind?